I am baffled. How can so many people actually get torn up over a celebrity breakup? The other day one of the leading news stories was the breakup of Brad and Angelina. Certainly it is a sad event but is it headline worthy? Is it something that should ruin the day of people who only know this couple as celebrities? Is it possible only the media deems this as an event everyone should be distraught about? This media incident leaves me scratching my head with not one louse in sight. Wait, I think louse is singular for lice. It’s either that or singular for someone’s shiftless brother-in-law who can’t find a job and sleeps on the couch. I’ve been lucky in that department but I know a guy who had . . . Wait a minute. I’ve totally gone off track. Is this story that meaningless to me? Not to be insensitive, but maybe.
Brad and Angelina are two people I don’t know and never will. We don’t run in the same circles. Although, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that once saw Brad Pitt mowing the grass. The story sounds kind of fishy. If Brad Pitt ever owned a lawn mower I’d be shocked. It could have been at his parent’s house before he became a celebrity. I would also have to find out if this guy who saw him was trustworthy. That would be hard since . . . I’ve done it again. It could be I’m truly callous to the plight of celebrities.
A few years ago my neighbors separated and then divorced. It was a close neighborhood and we all hung out on occasion. We had to decide which half of the couple we would hang with. Before that problem was solved another neighborhood couple divorced. I had to ask myself what the heck was going on. Were we all doomed to follow this path? Not only that but now we had another decision to make. This one would be easy for me. I played golf with him and she was a . . . let’s just say a hard person to get along with. It wasn’t long before both problems were solved. The guy I played golf with started dating the wife of the other divorced couple. They eventually married and . . . Again I’ve strayed from the misfortune of Brad and Angelina.
It’s true. I just don’t care. Of course I feel bad for any misfortune that befalls another human being but aren’t you just asking for trouble when you divorce your spouse to marry another? So, until someone close to me gets a divorce, adopts twenty or thirty children from a foreign country, or stars in the next blockbuster movie I’ll remain distant and aloof to the suffering of our celebrity community. Also, I do feel bad for the kids in this divorce but that’s not what the media stories have been about.