I have a confession to make. Somewhere in my head an alter ego exists. Following is an explanation of where this alter ego came from and why I need to mention it. This alter ego will be guest hosting my blog over the coming days. That’s right. This other person in my head will be writing in my blog. My only hope is that she doesn’t take over. Let me introduce you to Myrtle.
A few years ago I was reading a blog and it seemed as though there was a bit of man bashing going on. My first reaction was to leave the blog without comment. They would never know I was there. Then a thought hit me. These people didn’t know me from a ninety year old, blue haired lady who chain smokes, and coughs up hairballs. It was like the moment in the Matrix movie when Neo suddenly realizes what he can do. The 0’s and 1’s flashing by and they expand like a chest taking a deep breath.
This epiphany was empowering and a new character was born. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of my mind a piece of me became that 90 year old woman. Her name is Myrtle. Yes, her hair is bluish gray and she chain smokes like her life depends on it. Sometimes her coughing fits take on a life of their own. She is opinionated and, God help me, not afraid to share those opinions. Being a woman she has breasts. Being an older woman gravity has taken hold and those double Ds hang somewhere near the belt line. She sits in a rocking chair wearing a light blue, flower print dress. Several cats surround her in various stages of repose.
The character took hold and made certain demands of me. I’ll mention only one.
She looked at me through the haze of cigarette smoke while rocking slowly and said, “I want to write in your blog.” She then pushed her wire rimmed glasses up her nose with her middle finger and continued rocking.
What did that mean? Was she giving me the finger? What was she going to do? Frankly, she scares me to death. Since that time I’ve tried to keep her in check but now she wants to blog again. So, I’ll warn you, Myrtle will be guest blogging occasionally. Also, anything she says cannot be held against me in any way. As I get further into Myrtle’s head I’m sure I’ll get to know the cats a little better. Did I mention I hate cats? And did I mention I’m allergic to them?